Why?
The most important role in battling bullies is the advocate. Bullies are able to mistreat people only if they’re given permission by others around them. If every student had the courage to shut bullies down, they would be forced to move closer to the positive side of the continuum. Sadly, there are few people in schools and communities who accept the challenge of this role. Most surveys dealing with the issue of bullying show that only a tiny percent of students are advocates. Teachers need to be upstanders as well. They need to be aware that bullying occurs in every school, and it’s not “just part of growing up.”
Scene “One teacher pulled me aside and said that no one will make fun of me in this class. I think the world of him to this day.”
Scene “I’m a bully buster…[When I see bullying going on] I say, ‘Hey! What are you doing?’ First they look confused and say, ‘What do you mean?’ Then they stop…Recently at school my friend Leanne was being picked on by some boys in our computer class. I told the computer teacher what they were doing…When teachers don’t do anything about it, I bring them a bullying video. I loan it to them… If a teacher says to ignore a bully, I march out of the room to see the School Resource Officer.”
Scene “I’m a guidance counselor at a middle school. Last year I had some kids who came to me really upset on the behalf of a particular student. He had been repeatedly bullied and humiliated around his peers. He told people he was thinking about killing himself…They were worried about him–about the humiliation he was enduring.”
“The students that came to me were well liked and probably more self assured than the average sixth grade student. One of the girls said, ‘I know you’ve done lessons, and you’ve told people not to bully, and you guys handle it in the office. But what if we did a program? What if we did some teaching?’ I thought it was a really good idea. So, six students who had all shown some leadership in a way that was pro-social agreed to do a program.”
They used a thinking map and did a visual demonstration to show the consequences of bullying. They wore labels like ‘nerd’ and ‘geek’ and they talked about how words can hurt your heart, especially when you hear them repeatedly…They challenged students to be more accepting, to be more tolerant, and to stop calling people names. Then, they challenged the students the following week using a “dress-to-be-different” day to support no name calling. It was very well received…The young man who this program evolved from said repeatedly how much this meant to him and how people did stop calling him names.”
Have you heard of The Golden Rule? It says, “Treat others as you would like to be treated.” This social standard for human rights is valued in communities all over the world. Most religions and cultures in the world share this principal:
This is the sum of duty; do naught onto others what you would not have them do unto you. Hinduism
Hurt not others in ways that you yourself would find hurtful. – Udana-Varga 5,1 Buddhism
What is hateful to you, do not do to your fellowman. This is the entire Law; all the rest is commentary. -Talmud, Shabbat 3id Judaism
So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets. -Matthew 7:12 Christianity
No one of you is a believer until he desires for his brother that which he desires for himself. –Sunnah Islam
And if thine eyes be turned towards justice, choose thou for thy neighbour that which thou choosest for thyself. Baha’u’llah.[17][18] Baha’i
Regard your neighbor’s gain as your own gain, and your neighbor’s loss as your own loss Ancient Egyptian: Do for one who may do for you, that you may cause him thus to do. -The Tale of the Eloquent Peasant Taoism
Do not wrong or hate your neighbor. For it is not he who you wrong, but yourself. – Pima proverb Native American Spirituality
Remember the idea of Reciprocal Altruism? When we stand up for someone, if the tables were turned, we would expect them to do the same for us. We learn that cooperating with one another and helping one another is contagious and can become the norm for a group. Therefore, doing something good for an individual ultimately does something good for the collective.
Jason’s Story
“I was in a McDonalds where a guy I went to school with worked. He is gay and African American. Four guys were ordering food. While they were waiting for their food, they kept calling the guy a ‘faggot’ and a ‘queer.’ I listened to it for a while, thought about it, and said to them, ‘Why don’t you leave him alone? He didn’t do anything to you.’ They told me I better watch my back. They left, and I ordered my food. As I was leaving somebody said, ‘Hey!’ and something was thrown over my head. I was then hit over and over in the head and back. I had a cut on my head that my mom put four steri-stiches on to stop the bleeding…A few weeks later, I found out that the guys who attacked me would be planting flowers near the courthouse as part of their probation for attacking and hurting the guy I was defending…I don’t think that I would have spoken up for my classmate if I had not been part of the Outward Bound Unity Project. The course taught me that it’s wrong to stand by and do nothing when others are being hurt… I knew that I might be hurt physically or emotionally, but I could not stand back and do nothing.”
